Find something that needs explaining and explore the possibilities. Here are my reasons for never winning races.
- 1. The other kids won't take turns.
- 2. I have to follow someone to know where to go.
- 3. I like chasing kids.
- 4. I like running so much I don't want to stop.
- 5. I don't want to make anyone cry.
- 6. Dad said not to show off.
- 7. Mum will get too hyper.
- 8. The warm-ups I have to do strain my muscles.
- 9. My running shoes are too heavy.
- 10. The races are not my best distances. I would win all the time if the races were 90m, 180m, 360m, and 1080m.
Bet you can't do better than that, David Letterman. Good training for future stand-up comics, philosophers and lawyers. I look foward to reading your examples.
See below : BRIAN GRADY's fantastically absurb list of anarchical excuses
I forgot my home work because
M.E.O
1. Aliens abducted it
2. Mum thought it was so spectacular she framed it
3. My little sister had an accident
4. My dad used it to cover his baked beans in the microwave
5. I had a math test today and I needed to use it for my working out.
6. I got home and the phone rang. It was my cousins coming over. They stayed until dinner. Then we had dinner. Then I remembered about my essay. Then when I was about to do it, my cousins came back because they had forgotten their pokemon cards. They stayed a bit longer and by that time it was 9:00pm so I had to go to bed. In the morning I started to do it but then I had to eat breakfast and brush my teeth and then I had to help mum put up the washing. I was just about to start when my brother slipped on the stairs. After we had given him an ice pack and some plasters I started to write again.
Then I was called down because I had to go to school. I got to school and started to write but then the bell rang. I went to maths and tried to do it there but the teacher spotted me and I got a detention. Then in Spainish I tried to write in but we went outside and played eye-spy in Spainish. At morning tea, after I had eaten, I tried to write again but my paper blew away and fell down a drain. I went to get a new paper but the bell went. Then in reading time I tried to do it but the teacher put me in the front seat so I couldn't sneakily do it in the back. Then you called us up to give in our essays and well...... I said:
I got home and the phone rang. It was my cousins coming over. They stayed until dinner. Then we had dinner. Then I remembered about my essay. Then when I was about to do it, my cousins came back because they had forgotten their pokemon cards. They stayed a bit longer and by that time it was 9:00pm so I had to go to bed. In the morning I started to do it but then I had to eat breakfast and brush my teeth and then I had to help mum put up the washing. I was just about to start when my brother slipped on the stairs. After we had given him an ice pack and some plasters I started to write again.
Then I was called down because I had to go to school. I got to school and started to write but then the bell rang. I went to maths and tried to do it there but the teacher spotted me and I got a detention. Then in Spainish I tried to write in but we went outside and played eye-spy in Spainsih. At morning tea, after I had eaten, I tried to write again but my paper blew away and fell down a drain. I went to get a new paper but the bell went. Then in reading time I tried to do it but the teacher put me in the front seat so I couldn't sneakily do it in the back.
7.I was sick last night and had to go to bed
8. Would you tell Jane Goodall to do HER homework?
9. The man with the sign says the end in here. I wasn't going to do my homework on the eve of the apocolypse!
10.I did my homework in my head, I didn’t know I was supposed to write it down. Then I forgot. Next time should I show my work?
for the longest excuse
I think you may have won the [nonexistant] prize.
Above is a wise list
for dipping into on several occasions; if the homework was creative writing you could -
yuck, there's a cockroach up my nose