PROTECTED
You sleep safe in bed
no monsters'll kill and eat you.
Until one night they come -
jumping off the wallpaper
out of cracks in the floor
slthering from under your bed.
Dreaming of a juciy feed they argue:
'I'll have his heart.'
'No, it's mine
You had the last.'
'Let's cook him.'
'Raw's better.'
'Kill him first.'
'Eat him alive - the screaming's cool.'
A monster dives in to take his first bite
leaping back he shrieks,
'The boy's Mum kissed him!'
In a flash your room's empty
you keep sleeping.
__________________ .
In the morning you wake
for breakfast there's bacon
off an unlucky pig never kissed by his Mum.
FEELING DOWN
Do you ever
fall
lose stuff
break things
goof up when trying hard
or have
adults
brothers and sisters
horrid kids
pick on you for nothing .
Sometimes you could cry all day
but don't -
the
pain
anger
frustration
can be got rid off
with a Mum's kiss kit.
The kit has a stamp your Mum kisses and a pad she spits on.
When things go wrong stamp yourself
zip -
everything will be cool.
It ain't no lie -
Karl got burnt all over
Nick's arms and legs were broken
Max's teacher always said he was stupid
Did these boys cry ?
Not with their Mum's kiss kit.
Yet John
who had no kit
cried for hours when he couldn't find his pen !
So buy your Mum's kiss kit from the $3 shop
and never cry again.
JONATHON'S FATE
11.00 Jonathon's Mum kissed him on the cheek
11.01 the cheek was puffy and red
11.04 the puffiness had turned into a rash
11.05 it began to hurt
11.07 it spread over his face
11.08 Jonathon started crying
11.12 the rash covered his body
11.16 his Dad called the ambulance
11.19 Jonathon became unconscious
11.24 the ambulance arrived
11.31 the ambulance reached the hospital
11.38 Jonathon stopped breathing
11.43 the doctors gave up
11.45 Jonathon was pronounced dead
So next time your Mum wants to kiss you RUN !
NOTHING SCARES ME EXCEPT ..........
I am NOT scared of
driving fast cars
flying at supersonic speeds
killing evil dudes
shooting powerful weapons
fighting violent battles
jumping out of high trees
parachuting from tall buildings
walking tightropes between planes in mid air
exploring deep underground
squeezing through tunnels in pitch black darkness
holding my breath for several minutes
burning myself with toxic chemicals
discovering new types of explosions
getting tortured as a secret agent
but there's one horror I can't withstand -
nastier than being hugged
crueller than having to share
yuckier than brussel sprouts
it's my Mum kissing me - YUCK !
